FAQs

How do I know you are the right therapist for me?

This is my favorite question, as finding the right fit is one of the most important indicators of a successful therapeutic relationship. A strong therapeutic alliance is a necessary component of the healing process. Once we start work together, you will be able to get a feel for whether or not I am going to be the best fit for you. If you have not been referred to me specifically from a trusted source, I highly encourage folks to do their “due diligence” when interviewing potential therapists. This means, taking the time up front to speak with at least a few different therapists, so you have an opportunity to get an initial sense of how it feels talking with them. Once you have narrowed down a smaller group of therapists who check the boxes for you on specialty & experience (as examples, there may be other criteria necessary for your unique situation) it really comes down to how you feel when in communication with them & discussing vulnerable topics. Go with your gut. I provide a free initial phone consult, for this very reason, so we can chat about what you are hoping to get help with and you can ask questions. This time also allows for you to get a sense of my therapeutic style.

Will I need to attend therapy every week?

Weekly sessions are ideal to start, although bi-weekly sessions can also be effective if time and/ or finances do not allow for weekly meetings. Monthly sessions are typically only appropriate when winding down with the work, after the bulk of your individual goals have been reached. If you are ready for monthly sessions, that generally means you will not be needing me much longer, and this is to be celebrated! We will continue to adjust as needed.

What can I expect during my first session?

A first session is generally more structured around history taking. This involves me asking questions about your current concerns, as well as inquiring about certain aspects of your past. It is common for a first session to feel a bit intimidating, especially if you are new to therapy. There may be some issues and/or aspects of your history you do not feel comfortable sharing in an initial session. It is absolutely appropriate for you to take your time with disclosing information, that tends to feel more vulnerable. We will go at a pace that is appropriate for you. Part of what makes the therapeutic relationship effective, and a true agent of healthy change, is the quality and strength of said relationship. I work to tailor my approach, and subsequent therapeutic interventions, to meet your needs individually with wherever you are at in your own unique healing process. For this reason, part of an initial session is allowing me to get a lay of the land with where you are at in your process, so I can begin to outline a plan around how to best meet your needs.

What will we discuss in therapy?

We will be discussing current symptoms/stressors that led you to request support in the first place. With that information we will be attempting to make connections around where there may be unresolved issues from your past, possibly playing a role in said current issues. As a trauma informed therapist, this is the lens through which I am viewing a lot (although certainly not all) of the experiences you are bringing into the therapy room. Where did this negative belief about yourself begin? Where in your past does this ‘felt sense,’ that is causing you difficulties, originate from? A lot of what is discussed in therapy is more of a collaborative exploration. Working through unprocessed parts of your past, in a safe therapeutic environment, allows you to truly move forward in a new way. Good therapy is not about continually hashing out painful memories on an endless loop. Good therapy is about excavating what needs exploration, feeling what needs to be felt, and moving through what may no longer be serving you.

Part of my job is to know what to look for, that indicates we may need to slow the pace a bit with the work or “pump the brakes” so to speak. If you are feeling too overwhelmed, this can adversely effect the overall healing process. Conversely, it is also my role to know when to encourage a deeper exploration and/or a more challenging approach to support movement. All steps taken are discussed openly, as a healthy therapeutic relationship equates to a collaborative one.

What if I do not want to talk about something?

This is a completely normal and natural feeling, especially at the start of a therapeutic relationship. I am essentially a stranger in the beginning, so it absolutely makes sense that certain things you may want to take your time with disclosing. It is common for folks who have had painful experiences of betrayal in their past, to be avoidant of vulnerability (especially in a therapeutic context). For this reason, simply taking the appropriate amount of time in order for you to feel comfortable is imperative. I work at a pace that is appropriate for you and your specific situation. At times, the therapeutic work involves getting to the point where more information can be shared from your end, which in and of itself is part of the overall healing process.

Why do I sometimes feel more upset after therapy?

Good therapeutic work is ultimately energizing, although can be taxing. Healing can be a bumpy process, this is normal and to be expected. We are kicking up the dust on painful experiences, in order to fully move through them. Oftentimes, it is the avoidance of fully feeling a painful raw emotion, due to a past experience (or experiences), that leads to current dysfunction. We may not have learned how to fully feel our emotions, let alone express them. For some of us, learning how to notice and express what we are feeling, is a new way of being in the world. This new way, can feel deeply uncomfortable at first.

How long does therapy take?

This is unfortunately a challenging question for me to answer, without knowing your more specific and unique circumstance. Each individual session lasts 50 minutes in length, although the length of time you will need to commit to meeting really depends on the complexity of the issues you are here to work on. For some folks, a more brief approach (anywhere from 4 to 12 sessions) is sufficient for a specific issue. For others, the work may take longer for you to get to a place where you can “feel done.” This time-frame could be anywhere between six months to two years of consistent weekly or bi-weekly sessions. This time-frame could be shortened if you have done previous therapeutic work, from which we can build.

The most important thing to understand is that we are working towards a goal, and there should be movement towards that goal or goals. If you have been in a therapeutic relationship that has gone on for years, without any progress and/or movement from the place in which you began - it may be time to look at a new approach/modality and/or a fresh perspective. Life will always continue to do what life does, no matter how much therapy one engages in. My role is to aid you in getting to get to a place where you no longer need regular/consistent professional support in order to manage life’s subsequent challenges. Ideally, after a period of time of doing the work, you will feel more comfortable & confident using the the new skills/tools you have learned to navigate what comes your way. Part of the therapeutic journey involves building upon your support network (family/friends), as well as internal resources (healthier self-talk as an example), so you are bolstered for navigating life as it comes, beyond the therapy room.

It is common for folks to come back in, down the road, for a tune-up after an initial amount of time has been invested. “Tune-up” work is generally a much shorter duration, although still very helpful for long term healing for the folks who utilize it.

How will I know if therapy is working?

You will know things are working when you are able to show up in your life, more of the time, from a more grounded place. A general sense of well-being becomes the norm, as opposed to the exception to the rule. You will notice things that used to overwhelm you, no longer get the better of you. You are better able to navigate the stressors/challenges of life. In between sessions, you are able to think about current issues in a new way and address accordingly. In general, these changes equate to better overall functioning in your day to day.

It is important to know that it is appropriate at any time (no matter how long you have been working together) to address concerns with your therapist if you feel things are not going well. A direct conversation, if you feel your needs are not being met after treatment has begun, can be an important part of your healing. Ideally your therapist can hear you out, and validate your experience. This allows for an opportunity to engage in what is referred to as a “corrective experience.” This means, instead of feeling dismissed/shamed or ignored for expressing concern (as you possibly experienced growing up) your therapist is able to provide a new blueprint for emotional expectations, by validating your concerns and working toward a solution with you. Ideally course correction can be mapped out, and the relationship is strengthened through this exploration. Sometimes the result of this exploration means it may be time to move on, either to a new provider and/or a different modality altogether. You can then be supported around finding that better fit.

The main point here is that if you are not sure if your therapy is working (after investing a good amount of time with it), then it most likely is not. I encourgage you to advocate for yourself if need be, so your valuable time and resources can work better in your favor.